Love hurts
by cArPeNoctis
Summary: It is the very pain of love that keeps you from giving up. Contains minor BL! And that's Boys-love


_As a little paus from my long-fic writing,_I decided to do a BL-story for my sister. She asked me to do it as a delayed birthday-present (btw,we're twins), but since we're getting confirmated around the time I completed it I decided to change it to a confirmation-present,but that's not important....

She came to me and asked me to write her a one-shot with one of her fave couples, and wrote me a list of her favourite crack/canon and were some that I excluded right away (like FangxLightning,LightxNaomi and all Tifa-non-Cloud-related couples) but there were some I gave second thoughts.I thought I was gonna write IchigoxRukia,but then changed my mind when I got an LlyudxVaan idea. Oh and yes, my sister isn't really a BL-fan, she just adores this couple for some reason (unlike me,who is an extreme BL-lover but has trouble understanding this couple XD)

Other,this fic shares title with a picture I recently uploaded in my online 're not related in anyway though,so it's a bit weird.

Anyway, go on and read!! I hope you enjoy,especially you,sis! :3

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Llyud stood still, as he silently admired the blinking lights set out on the sky.

As the darkness had swept closer, the crew had slowed the Galbana down and dropped anchor near the Kisne Rise. After making sure that there were no monsters or the like coming near the ship, the group had, a bit reluctantly, swallowed the dinner that Penelo had prepared for them, consisting of steamed alraune with mashed potatoes. Though, as to not upset the girl's feelings after the long and exhausting day of fighting, they all agreed to tell her that it tasted good. The question was of course, if she had bought it or not.

The red-haired aegyl took a long, deep breath, inhaling the cold night air. It was colder, calmer, than it was during the day, which may have been one of the reasons for him to prefer the night sky.

At one time, the seeming everlasting darkness would have been the perfect refuge for him and his hollow heart – striped from all feelings. But as it was now, Llyud realized that he had begun to grow more and more comfortable during the day, and under the sun. Was it, perhaps, the reflection of his anima that gradually started to take form in his heart?

As unaccustomed as he was towards the feelings he had slowly started to gain, he was still trying to keep them all apart, learning their names and meanings every day. His anima had somehow managed to change his view on life completely. He truly appreciated the ability to feel… well, feel.

Another thing that Llyud appreciated was the help that his new friends had given him and offered. He could not help but think that if not for them, he would still be as blind and cold as the others of his race that now shunned him for his actions. Were it not for Vaan's determination that he would learn to live in happiness…

Llyud moved his hand to his heart. It had filled with warmth at the thought of the young sky pirate.

Ever since he had started to recognize his anima, Llyud had also realized that his view of Vaan had changed abruptly. Something that he had much trouble sorting out.

Whenever the blonde sky pirate was around, Llyud could lose himself in thought or admiration of the younger boy for minutes. He felt a strange urge to protect him and him alone whenever they were forced to fight. He felt a gratitude he would never be able to repay.

Raising his head to once again gaze up at the sky, the red-haired aegyl was reminded of something that Penelo had once told him about. What was it now again…?

Love?

According to her, love was a feeling of devotion that everyone were born with. She had sighed happily and described it as more of a power that kept all living things alive. Without love, she had said, there was no point in living at all.

To feel love for someone, she had continued, was to always want to be with that person, and yearn for that person's love in return. But still, how wonderful it yet felt, it also had its bad sides. You would feel nervous and horrible, and you would sometimes cry. She had added with a sad smile, that those were things you would be willing to endure if you truly loved that person.

Llyud was reminded of how Vaan acted whenever the queen were around. Without her noticing it, he would open his mouth several times as if to say something, and then changing his mind about it. He acted much more clumsily around her than when she wasn't nearby.

He gritted his teeth, and the warmth he had inside his chest developed into a knot.

Suddenly, he heard steps approaching and he turned around. The door leading out to the bridge opened, and the blonde sky pirate stumbled out, out of breath. He looked up to scan in his surroundings, and his face brightened up when he noticed the aegyl.

"Llyud! Here you are!" he grinned, rushing forward to meet with the older man. Llyud forgot everything he had been thinking about, only caring about meeting Vaan's smile. The sky pirate gazed up at him. "We were just wondering if you don't want to come inside now. It's getting pretty chilly."

Llyud smiled warmly at him, laughing mentally when he saw the usual, shocked reaction Vaan had whenever he expressed one of his emotions. He had a harder time getting used to his feelings than he had himself.

The aegyl shook his arms a bit, and realized how stiff he felt. As an answer to the other man's question, he nodded. "You're right. We'll need to be at our best if we are to fight tomorrow as well."

Vaan returned his smile, putting his arms behind his head in amusement. "Ya know, you've really changed, Llyud. I mean, when we first met, you would barely even talk to us."

Llyud stood quiet, reflecting over his words. He wanted to say; "If it weren't for you, I would still stand alone…" He just found no way to say it.

A strong wind rushed by the two, causing them to hold up their arms to shield their faces. For a moment, none of them could neither see nor hear the other. When the wind had passed, they both looked up to maybe find its source.

Vaan squinted his eyes as he gazed out over the sky. "Wow that was a strong wind. Was it an esper, maybe…?"

Llyud looked at the sky pirate as he spoke. Something caught his eye, and he walked up to him. Vaan didn't notice him until they were only a few inches away from each other. The younger man turned red, feeling very uncomfortable at the sudden change of range between them. "W-what…?" he stuttered.

The aegyl lifted his hand to his fore-head, catching a lock of hair that had fallen down into the sky pirate's eyes as the wind had ruffled them both. He slowly put it back, taking the opportunity to feel the smoothness of his blonde hair.

He looked down at the other man, who stared at him in question. "You had your hair in your eyes," he explained softly.

Vaan swallowed. "O…okay…" He was blushing hardly.

Llyud could feel his own heart beating, as if it would burst out of his chest. His hand was still resting on Vaan's cheek, a bit loosely, bit still close enough to call it a soft touch. An awkward silence fell over them, daring yet keeping either one of them to say something. It was as if something had frozen them both in this moment. And partially, Llyud was very grateful for that.

Unconsciously, Llyud lowered his head even more, without moving his eyes from those deep blue orbs. Their faces were now barely an inch away from each other…

"VAAN! What's taking you so long?!" Penelo yelled from inside. The both men jumped in surprise, and Vaan managed to struggle free from the aegyl's grip.

"Ah, hehe, coming!" Vaan replied nervously, rushing inside without giving the aegyl a second glimpse of his blushing face.

Llyud didn't move as he watched the sly pirate disappear into the ship. There was something that he left behind, in his heart… A stung of pain.

A feeling of agony, formed after his sudden realization that Vaan was, and would so ever be, out of his reach. And even though it was his deepest wish that they would one day fly free together, he also hoped that it would only remain a wish.

His vision grew blurry, and bringing his hand to his eyes, Llyud felt small drops of water touch his skin.

He was reminded once again about what Penelo had told him, about how wonderful love yet was, there were painful sides to it which you would endure, no matter what. But in the end, it would all be worth it. In the end, it was the pain you looked forward to, if you when it faded could stand with your beloved.

The pain that made you strong enough to protect the one you loved.

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Author:C'mon,go ahead and review!Pretty please and I'll give you cookie,oki? =D


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